Sacrifice is the Virtue of Love and Courage: the Courage to give of oneself in the name of Love.

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Today I can write about Sacrifice.

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It is one of the most difficult to practice and yet most powerful of the Paladin’s virtues.

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Much of what is called Sacrifice is actually the virtue of Compassion. If a rich child has a favorite toy they love, and they give it to a poor child that could use it better, that probably has some small amount of Sacrifice, but is mostly Compassion. It is an act of love. Donating to a charity is also more often a Compassionate act (or perhaps an Honorable one) than a true Sacrifice. People often think that something is Sacrifice if it involves the personal loss of some external thing of value, such as time or possessions or money or energy, but that is not the core essence. Sacrifice is a scarier and stronger beast than that.

 

There are many valuable forms of Sacrifice, but in this Handbook I will focus on the deepest and most powerful form that I can currently see, and the one that is the most difficult to give, where it is easy to fall short.

 

The essence of Sacrifice is in giving up the good inside oneself, for the good outside oneself. The essence of Sacrifice is in letting go of the treasured parts of the self that are in the way of true good.

 

As a Paladin it is your job not only to confront evil, but to cherish and cultivate good. It is your job to see the joy and beauty in the world as well as the darkness. To fight for the treasures, and inspire others to do the same. To inspire others to fan their own flames and make the world a brighter place. To have faith that good is always worth doing, that challenges can be faced, wounds healed or outgrown, fears understood, and the world made better. And to keep that faith alive - that even if a fear cannot be faced now, perhaps later it will be. If damaged, a person can not only heal, but grow stronger than they were before they were hurt. If a treasured friend is choosing evil, retreating again and again from the truth, and the friendship ends, even when walking away a Paladin keeps alive the hope for their friend and the determination to not give up on humanity.

 

In other words, a tremendous part of a Paladin’s duty is to see the brightest possibilities for good and beauty and joy and health, everywhere and for everyone, and to fight for those possibilities.

 

This is a treasure for the Paladin as well - we live lives full of deep meaning and beauty. There is always something truly worthy to fight for.

 

We see shining futures. Sacrifice is needed when reality goes in a different direction.

 

It is likely that as a Paladin your daily experience will be in seeing others both choose paths that lead to unneeded suffering, and neglect paths that would bring real joy. It is so easy to become attached to your vision, to the brightness of what is possible. We can cause tremendous damage by fighting for the highest good we see if that highest good is not firmly anchored in reality. Being a Paladin means seeing as much good as you can, and then letting go of being stuck on that good over and over in order to make this actual reality better.

 

If I give time or money to charity, I walk away from it feeling like I have done good. My mood is uplifted. I have worked to make the world a better place. And I have been true to my values.

 

If I have a friend who struggles with their life and makes poor choices, I will usually see where they are afraid or confused, and the effects their choices will have. There are times when, as a friend, they need my Valor, they need me to fight for them. Or they might need my Honor - for me to stand up for the Truth of things and not go along with wrong choices and views. But hardest of all, they may need my Sacrifice. I may need to stop fighting for the shining future that -I- see for them. Unlike donating to charity, this rarely feels good to me. It can feel like giving up on good, like surrendering, like abandoning faith.

 

Sadly, I have done significant damage to others, many times, out of trying to show people the good I see, and encourage them to make the good choices that are right in front of them.

 

People often aren’t ready, and their paths aren’t mine. To Paladins, dedicated to Truth, Love, and Courage, it may seem obvious to us how to fight for things, or at least obvious that we need to fight somehow, but others are rarely truly ready to fight. They may be hurt, and mostly trying to be safe and heal. They may be scared, and even if I know they don’t need to be, they may not be ready to confront that. Growing is difficult and painful, and doesn’t always seem worth it to people. And on a more fundamental level, many people aren’t looking at what we’re looking at in the first place. They don’t really deeply understand what kind of growth is possible and how good things could be. They aren’t choosing based on “the highest good”.

 

Sacrifice arises when I confront the reality that while a particular good that I see is possible, it will never happen, and that fighting for it will just cause damage. With almost every person I see, I can see how they could grow into a better person and be happier. I want this for them, so strongly. But they will never be who I want them to be. The shining futures will never be how I see them. A Paladin’s job is not to “win”. Not to “know”. Not to be “in control”.

 

If I am brave enough to let go of the good that I see, I can begin to look directly at this damaged, unnecessary, tangled world, full of people hurting themselves without needing to and ignoring the good that is offering itself to them. Sacrifice is the Courage to be with people as they are, with reality as it is, and to have the Love to do everything I can to help.

 

When I find myself thinking, “Why are things this way? Why are they so much worse than they need to be? Why don’t people see what I see, and why do they keep making the choices that they make?” I find myself alone and scared and hurt by the world. It could have been so beautiful.

 

Because the world isn’t what I want it to be, it would be so easy to just pull away from everything. To stubbornly fight for my own personal goals and ideals. To stop trying to help because people will never make the right choices anyways. To call smaller things “the highest good”, so that others can actually see and understand me, and I can walk hand-in-hand with them.

 

I need, over and over, to stop pushing others towards the shining beautiful future I see. They chose a different path. I need to help them walk it.

 

Sacrifice saves others from my good intentions. Sacrifice saves me from the strength of my own virtues.

 

I must always remember: my job is not to get for myself. It is to give of myself.