Throughout this handbook the word Paladin will be used in three different ways. One, it can refer to Paladins in fantasy literature such as Dungeons and Dragons or the Deed of Paksenarrion. Two, it can refer to anyone who takes on certain types of duties or roles in their (real) life, whether or not that person would themselves agree that they are a Paladin. And finally, it can refer to anyone who associates themselves with this Handbook or those who attempt to follow it.

 

My own life has been very unusual so far. Several years ago I was puzzling over the patterns and challenges I seem to repetitively encounter, my own habits of reacting to them, and how different it all seemed from the lives of most people around me. I don’t remember now where the thought came from, but I do remember how suddenly everything clicked into place. “Oh, I’m a Paladin. My life makes sense for the first time.”

 

So what’s a Paladin? In fantasy, a Paladin is a Holy Warrior. A common idea in fantasy is for characters to have various formalized roles that are suited to adventures. There are several ‘core’ roles, expanded upon with many hybrid variations. For example, the most basic role is a Fighter. They, obviously, train to be good at fighting. Hit hard and fast, take heavy punishment, use weapons and armor skillfully. Both Boromir and Gimli from the Lord of the Rings would qualify. A Ranger is a good example of a hybrid role: they take elements of a Fighter and a Rogue, mixed perhaps a little with a Cleric (priest). The Ranger focuses on physical combat, but incorporates elements of stealth, ambush, and natural abilities such as tracking and survival. In some fantasy systems, a Ranger would also borrow some supernatural abilities from Druids (priests of nature). Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings is the classic example of a Ranger: a good fighter who can track, hide, and heal.

 

A Paladin is a hybrid role, like the Ranger, but instead of mixing a Fighter and a Thief, it mixes a Fighter and a Priest directly, to create a kind of Holy Warrior. Instead of fighting for wealth, power, politics (including any kind of fealty), or amusement, a Paladin follows a higher Calling. Usually their powers are granted by a deity, or perhaps something more abstract like “Good” directly, but always something beyond the realm of humanity. Depending on the setting and author, there are many variations on how they work, but there are definitely common threads.

 

When comparing my own life against that of a fantasy Paladin, the match is unnervingly accurate. Not merely in my own perception, but recognized by those closest to me. I’ll come back to what this actually means, and what the reality of the situation is, in a later section. But for the moment we’ll just move forward with the idea that I’m actually a Paladin.

 

Given the variations of what Paladins are presented as, and given that each reader will have their own backgrounds, I’m going to go over what this Handbook will consider the classic fantasy Paladin. Each item in this list will be expanded upon in detail.

 

First, the existence of a Paladin presumes the reality of good and evil.

 

Second, a Paladin presumes some form of higher power, specifically one that chooses the Paladin for its own purpose. This power is a power of good, and fights against evil.

 

Paladins are chosen for battle. They are not simply healers, farmers, artisans, or even wise sages. They confront difficulties and go into darkness.

 

Their lives are not their own. Because they serve their higher power directly, they forsake loyalty to governments, personal causes, religious authorities, and groups in general. They must be ready to go where they are sent, do what is needed, and perhaps to sacrifice their own comfort, safety, happiness, or even their own lives.

 

Paladins may or may not be able to refuse the call, but it is insufficient to choose on one’s own to become a Paladin. It is a call from outside the self, a job given to you by a god or higher power.

 

Their lives require, and are built around, virtue, simplicity, doing good, inspiring others, and training.

 

They are given specific supernatural powers: detecting evil, healing, guidance, protection from spiritual evils. In some versions they can create light.

 

They are not given other powers: invulnerability, perfection, understanding, certainty of winning, control.

 

So let’s look at how these show up in reality. Reality as in this actual reality that you and I live in. And let’s start with the part of reality that shapes this Handbook: the author.

 

I am, as I said, a Paladin. But you’ll notice that Paladins are not given the powers of understanding or perfection. So how can I write something as important as the Handbook? What is it like for me to approach this task? Examining this will perhaps be a sufficient example of what a Paladin does.

 

I am, in my own mind, closer to a Paladin-Initiate. A beginner, in other words. I have tremendous flaws, many areas where I deeply lack understanding, and I need much, much more experience. I am not the right person for successfully writing a true Paladin’s Handbook. I will mess this up, and each mistake will absolutely cause problems. Real ones, for real people.

 

Also, writing this Handbook looks like a huge amount of work for very little payoff. There is a large chance almost nobody will read it. There is a certainty that the majority of the people who do read it will not understand parts, and, much worse, will misunderstand key parts. Given the poor odds for a good payoff, I have many other areas of my life I could use this time and energy for.

 

It’s also a very vulnerable thing to write. Because of how very important it is, every time I protect myself and shy away from the direct and honest truth, it will cause problems. I am forced to expose myself - not only flaws and mistakes, but also areas where friends and family don’t know certain sides of me or how I view things. For example, although I'm known to be very careful with my philosophy and world view, with all the talk of “being chosen” and “higher powers”, it could so easily sound like I’m delusional. Writing this is scary, and I’d prefer not to do it.

 

But… it’s not up to me. My previous quests are wrapping up, the damage from them mostly healed, and there is now a Call to write this. It looks too hard and, at least from a logical perspective, not worth it, but that’s not my decision. It looks like I’ll mess it up, but then again I was never given certainty of “winning” at any task. My job is to go where it’s hard and do my very best. Right now that means writing this Handbook. Will anyone read this? Why am I writing it? I don’t know, and I don’t need to know. How the world goes isn’t my responsibility. Doing my duty, is.

 

I do not know who you are, reading this. Most of you won’t be Paladins. Almost nobody is, at least as far as I currently understand things. Some of you will incorrectly think you are a Paladin. And some of you will incorrectly think that you aren’t. Regardless of which group you find yourself in, I will do my best to help each of you as much as I can, and do as little damage as I can. Please, each of you, whether a Paladin or not, do your best in helping me with these goals.

Your choices matter.

 

So let’s start with the big one: what is the reality of a Paladin? After all, it’s based specifically on fantasy. The word ‘fantasy’ itself is the opposite of ‘reality’.

 

Some of you will believe in God. Others won’t. This doesn’t actually matter. Being a Paladin isn’t about the truth or not of God. As odd as it sounds, I mean it: being a Holy Warrior chosen by a higher power does not require a belief in God. One could easily be a Muslim Paladin, a Christian Paladin, A Buddhist Paladin, an Atheist Paladin, or a Paladin from any other belief system.

 

So for looking at what it means to be a Paladin, I’m going to look at perhaps a deeper layer. What does it mean to be anything at all?

 

We all think of ourselves as many things. I, for example, am a student, and employee, a child of my parents, a sibling, a friend, an ex. I’m also an animal, specifically a human.

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To dig deeper into the first thing on the list, it looks obvious that I’m a student. For example, in my martial arts classes, I’ve been studying with my teacher off-and-on for about 24 years. By most ways of judging, I’m one of the better students in the class, although in most areas not the very best. I am a senior student. But what does it mean to say that I’m one of his senior students?

 

Or, to say I’m my parents’ child, what does that mean?

 

Or to say that I’m human, what does that mean? Why is that a useful thing to say about me? Or more specifically, why is it a useful thing to think about myself?

 

We tend to treat words as reality, but there are layers underneath words. In the most real reality, am I a ‘student’ (or even ‘human’), or an arbitrary grouping of fundamental particles obeying the wave equation? What properties of these particles groups them together and gives them the identity of “senior student”? Is ‘student’ actual reality, or something we created with language?

 

Fundamentally, whether “I” am “really” any of those things is not an answerable question.

 

So let’s ignore “truth” for a moment and look at “useful” in more detail. Does thinking of myself as my mother’s child help me? Yes. It helps me to know how to relate to the world. It helps me to know what my job is.

 

When I’m in my teacher’s class, knowing I’m one of the senior students helps guide me in how to act, and it makes it easier for me to contribute and make things better. It informs me that I’m in a position to help new students learn. It reminds me that I am likely to be part of the next generation of teachers, so I must work hard to learn while my teacher is still teaching, to prepare myself. It means I am important to the class on a human level, because after so many years I have deep roots with my teacher and fellow students, so I should work to contribute to them in personal relationships, to help their lives be better and happier, to let them know they matter to me.

 

It tells me what some of my jobs are.

 

So, in reality, am I really a Paladin? Wrong question. Does “knowing” I’m a Paladin help me understand what my job is? Yes. It is a useful thing to know about myself. It guides me, helps me make sense of what to do, reminds me how and where to grow. It gives me courage, and pushes me to do good in the world. This examination of fantasy vs reality is a good example of how I said that a Paladin’s job isn’t always to understand things. My job isn’t to understand what the reality of being a Paladin is. My job is to be one. To make reality a better place.